


Ice Cold

by Arithese



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Family Feels, Fluff at the beginning, Found Family, Full warnings in the notes, Gen, Hospital, Minor Character Death, Momma Rosa, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 08:56:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arithese/pseuds/Arithese
Summary: “I am very sorry to inform you, but your mother was admitted to the hospital a few hours ago.” Billy frowns, turning around to Rosa. For a moment he didn’t know what he had to say, I mean, she was right there.“I think you have the wrong number, my mom is right here.”





	Ice Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! There are slight triggers in this chapter, they’re small but still there, full warnings at the end of the story to avoid spoilers for those who do not want to be spoiled.

The first thing he noticed was the blinding light suddenly turning on, almost exploding past his eyelids. He groans loudly, throwing the blanket over his eyes to protect them from the harsh light that was in the room. He could faintly hear Freddy complaining beneath him, but Billy didn’t pay attention to him.

He curled up into himself, eyes hidden, and he could hear a light laugh.

“C’mon boys, breakfast is almost ready.” Rosa smiles, or at least, Billy guessed she was smiling. She was almost always smiling, and it was one of the best sights for the younger boy. The smile always so full of warmth, and full of love for Billy’s siblings, but most importantly, him.

Billy groans again, warily sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. Rosa snorts.

“Oh he finally awakes.” She jokes, and Billy glances at Rosa, also still dressed in her pyjamas.

“We’ll be down in a sec.” Freddy calls from the bottom of the bunk bed, and Rosa nods, leaving silently. Her hair up in a messy bun, and some parts of her hair even too short to be up.

Billy smiles softly, climbing out of the top bunk and carefully landing on the ground. He didn’t bother fixing his hair, or changing into something different, but immediately following Rosa down the stairs. He was wearing some old shorts, plain squares painted on them, but Billy didn’t really care for the design, and a basic blue shirt.

“Morning Bilbo.” Mary grins, ruffling his hair. Billy squeaks at both the nickname and the contact, ducking out of the way to avoid her touch. “I like your hair down, you look a lot younger.” She smiled, and Billy rolls his eyes.

“Which is why I put it up, so you finally stop pestering me.” Billy shots back, and Mary smiles brightly, wrapping her arms around him, ignoring his attempts to dislodge her. But Billy wasn’t even _really_ trying. They all knew Billy secretly liked the hugs, if only because it showed people _cared_ , and Billy also didn’t accidentally wanted to hurt Mary.

“You’ll always be my little brother, even when you’re old, and even when you’re taller than me.” Mary smiles, sending him a disapproving gaze as she tries to make herself look taller.

“Can’t stop puberty.” Eugene states as a matter of fact as he walks by, and Mary grins.

“But I can take still hug _you_ before you hit it.” Mary says, going after Eugene instead. Billy just smiles fondly. At first he had been so annoyed by their antics, so annoyed by the fact that they just wouldn’t leave him alone, that they constantly _tried_ to make it seem like they all liked one another.

But he soon realised that they enjoyed each other’s company, and soon he found himself doing the same.

“Morning big brother.” Darla smiled brightly, wrapping her tiny arms around Billy’s waist. Billy stills just slightly, but he smiles down at the little girl.

“Morning Darla.” He greets, ruffling her hair. Darla laughs at the gesture, unwrapping her arms from his middle.

“Breakfast is ready!” She announces with a cheery voice, grabbing Billy’s hand and dragging him along towards the dining room. Billy allowed her, following her towards the table. Everyone, excluding Freddy, was already seated at the table. Darla climbed onto the chair, and Billy sat down as she did.

Freddy joining them quickly as well.

Billy just watched contently as they started breakfast, enjoying the comfortable ambiance hanging around the room. Everyone was still barely out of bed, all still in pyjamas or comfortable clothing. Nobody really cared about looking ‘okay’ or presentable in front of the others.

Of course they didn’t, they were family, and Billy was part of that family.

So he just smiled absently, enjoying the meal and allowing the rest to carry the conversation. He still didn’t talk as much as Freddy or Darla did, preferring to just let the others talk instead. But he didn’t _not_ talk out of fear, out of feeling left out. He felt at home, which is why he dared to be silent.

They were almost done with breakfast, a pretty elaborate one even, when the phone suddenly rang. Billy turns his head towards the phone with a slight frown, the phone was barely used anymore, and he had no idea who could be calling this early. Rosa stands up, walking over to the phone.

“Good morning, this is Rosa.” Rosa smiles, listening to the other side. Billy couldn’t hear what the other side said. Rosa frowns slightly, glancing at him. “Yeah, he’s here?” She asks hesitantly, and Billy can feel his heart jump a little at the attention. Rosa gestures him to come over, which he does.

Rosa hands him the phone silently, and Billy takes it.

“With Billy?” He asks slowly.

“Hello Billy, my name is Elizabeth.” Billy freezes slightly at the tone in her voice, grave, timid. “I am very sorry to inform you, but your mother was admitted to the hospital a few hours ago.” Billy frowns, turning around to Rosa. For a moment he didn’t know what he had to say, I mean, she was right there.

Rosa was standing right there, watching him anxiously.

“I think you have the wrong number, my mom is right here.” He says, voice softer, but Rosa still hears it anyways. She doesn’t seem to mind at all, sending him a comforting, but confused smile. Of course, she didn’t know what Billy was talking about, or why he was mentioning her right now.

“Are you Billy Batson? Son of Marilyn?” Billy just… freezes right then and there, suddenly understanding what the conversation was about right now. The hospital wasn’t talking about Rosa… he had already accepted his new life so much that _his mom_ was Rosa for him, it never occurred to him that she wasn’t always.

 _The hospital was talking about his birth mom_.

The phone almost slipped through his hand.

“I-I… what?” Billy stammers. “What’s wrong? Is she going to be okay?” He didn’t know _why_ he felt this panic, didn’t know why he felt this way. He didn’t know this woman, had no ties to her other than biological. She never raised him, not really, left before he could truly enjoy her company.

“We are very sorry, she was attacked during her shift, we don’t know if she is going to make it. You may want to consider visiting as soon as possible, before it’s too late.”

“I will.” Was all Billy could manage, and he could barely manage to put the phone on the table. His hands were trembling, heart hammering in his chest. He just knew he had to _go_ , go to the hospital right now. He immediately walked over to the front door, grabbing his jacket from the wall.

“Woah woah, Billy!” Rosa called after him, but it was as if the sounds didn’t register at all. Something wrapped around his wrist, and he whirled his head around to stare at Rosa with wide, terrified eyes. “What’s wrong?!” She insists, eyes filled with fear. Worry for him, worry for the unknown.

“My mom…” Billy chokes out. “She… she’s in the hospital.” He could barely push the words out of his throat. Rosa’s face immediately twists, a look of pity crossing her features. Billy didn’t want it, didn’t want her pity, and certainly didn't want to wait for her to respond, so he turned around again.

But Rosa refused to let go.

“Billy please calm down for a second.” Rosa insists, but Billy glared at her.

“I can’t just calm down, I need to go.” Billy almost snapped, but Rosa just shook her head gently, didn’t take offense to the snap. Any other day he would’ve been so grateful and moved that Rosa didn’t mind his outburst, that he was still ready to fully support him no matter what.

Now he could just feel the panic.

“I know, but how are you going to get there? Do you want to walk there? And in your pyjama’s?” It wasn’t even a legit question, and they both knew it. Billy stilled, he _hadn’t_ thought about that yet. He could feel tears jump in his eyes. “Change upstairs, and Victor and I will drive you.” She says, running off immediately.

Billy couldn’t even fully process it, and everything seemed to go in a rush. Before he knew it, he was in the van, Victor and Rosa rushing him towards the hospital. They didn’t try to speak to him, for which he was glad. He wasn’t even truly aware of his surroundings, where he was, what was going on.

He could barely comprehend Rosa leading him into the hospital, a steady hand on his back that urged him forwards. Victor was asking… asking where his mom was when _he_ couldn’t. The woman gave him a sad look, but even _that_ didn’t seem to register with him, and he just averted his gaze.

Heart hammering as he was led to a room, somewhere on the second floor. And everything just seemed to disappear around him as he walked into one of the rooms, staring at the sight in front of him, frozen on the spot. It was almost as if his blood had suddenly turned to lead, pulling him down.

His mother was there, lying on the hospital bed and looking horrible.

Her skin was ghostly white, flushed entirely of any colour. Her eyes were tinted red, a tired expression on her face.

“M-Mom?” Billy whispers softly, and for a moment he realised that the steady hand on his back was gone. He glanced back for a moment, but Rosa nodded at him, closing the door so he was alone with his… biological mom. He looked back again, and found his mom staring right at him.

There was an oxygen mask on her face, needles sticking out from both arms, leading to various bags and equipment. The heart monitor beeped softly. Billy slowly walked over to the side of his mom’s bed, staring down at her and jaw set. It almost hurt him, but he couldn’t stop himself.

His mom just watched him with tired, and yet slightly more alert eyes.

“Where’s Travis?” Billy asks softly, but his mom shakes her head carefully. She lifts up her right hand, trembling heavily and almost too weak in the first place. Billy was almost tempted to stop her, before she hurt herself or something, but she put the hand on the mask, pulling it off for a moment.

She swallowed thickly. “Not here.” She says, letting the oxygen mask fall over her face again and taking a shuddering breath. Billy swallows thickly, reaching out for the chair behind him and pulling it closer. He allows himself to sit down, only then realising how weak his legs felt, how relieved he was to sit down.

“Why me?” Billy asks softly, feeling his eyes burn, but he ignored it. “Why am I here, instead of _him_?” They both knew what he meant with _him_. Why did the hospital call him and not Travis? 

“You’re my s-son.” Marilyn whispered, oxygen mask fogging slightly and almost too soft for him to hear. “And I…. I-I didn’t want… Travis to… c-come.” She breathes out, having to stop in between every few words to catch her breath. Billy’s face twists slightly.

“He’s hurting you, isn’t he?” Billy asks, almost too afraid to ask, and too afraid to look her in the eyes as he asks her. So he focuses on his hands, shaking slightly. There was a short silence.

“Y-Yes.” His mom eventually admits. “I-I… I n-need him… m-money…” She trails off, but it’s enough for Billy to understand what she meant.

“So you put me on the list to call?” He looks up again, tears brimming in his eyes. His mom nods.

“I couldn’t… j-just leave,” _Die_ , Billy mentally corrects her. “Without… t-telling you it… wasn’t your f-fault.” Billy bites his lip, rubbing his hands anxiously.

“You told me before.” Billy says, throat seemingly closing up, not allowing enough air to pass through. His mom shakes her head.

“It was my… fault. I couldn’t.. raise you. I… let you go, y-you were… just a kid. It’s not your… fault.” His mom stops, swallowing and catching her breath. “It never was… your fault. But I… I couldn’t admit that before… but it wasn’t… it wasn’t your fault, it was m-mine.” She tried to sound strong, but she wasn’t.

Her voice was so vulnerable, as if talking back to her would break her right now.

“Then why did you?” Billy’s voice cracks, and tears trailed down his face. He furiously rubbed at them, trying to hide them before his mother saw, but she already had.

“I told you about your father… right?” She breathes out, and Billy nods. “I didn’t.. tell you everything.”

Billy frowns. “Why not?” He asks, but his mom shakes her head.

“I was… 16 when I … got pregnant.” She takes a breath again, but somehow Billy knew it wasn’t from exhaustion, it was to mentally prepare herself. “Your dad… your dad didn’t decide not to be in your life, he couldn’t be… He’s in prison.. for forcing me.” And Billy knew… it was too clear what his mom meant.

His dad was in prison… for raping his mom.

His mother had left him and his father was a criminal, a disgusting criminal. So what did that make _him_? Billy didn’t even want to think about it, and now it suddenly made so much sense. Why she left him, why she didn’t look for him and why she was so dismissive of his dad not being around in their lives.

“I don’t …want to.. make excuses for what I did Billy.” His mom continues but Billy shakes his head.

“N-No… no I get it.” Billy whispers, he couldn’t even imagine how much he was hurting his mom right now, just by being here. His mom smiles weakly.

“I’ve always loved you… and I never stopped… but I wasn’t ready to raise you.” She lifts a shaky hand, and Billy grasps it without thinking, squeezing it softly.

“I get it mom.” Billy says, but his mom shakes her head.

“I just… want you to know that it… it wasn’t your fault, ever. There’s nothing w-wrong with you, and I’m sorry.. I made you feel like there was.” She tries to squeeze his hand, but she was almost too weak. “I was.. naive, I thought you’d be… okay. And when I realised… I didn’t want to admit it.. and then you showed up and you looked okay,” She stops for a moment.

Billy clenches his teeth, wiping away the tears lingering on his face with a furious expression. Anger at himself for being so weak, for showing so much emotion when it was his mom that was hurting right now. Not everything was about him, and he couldn’t be selfish anymore not now his mom needed him to be strong.

“I could see it in your eyes.. you were hurting. And you were lying when you said… you were doing okay.”

“I didn’t lie about everything.” Billy denies softly. “I found a family, I have brothers and sisters, and parents who love me…. i-if that’s okay.” Billy stammers, but a smile appears on his mom’s face, the smile weak but genuine.

“Are they here?” She asks softly.

“Mom and dad are outside.” Billy whispers, and the smile on his mom’s face grows a little bigger.

“Can I see.. them?” She asks, and Billy nods shakily. There’s a second on confusion before he stands up, walking over to the door. As predicted, Rosa and Victor were sitting right outside, silently and absently comforting each other. They immediately looked up, and their faces fell as they saw him.

Billy knew how he looked, shaking slightly, tears in his eyes, and his biological mom in the hospital.

“She wants to meet you.” Billy dares to whispers. He couldn’t get himself to say ‘mom’, or to call them his parents. He didn’t _know_ what to call them, which was strange. He had been so sure of his place since a few weeks, for the first time since he got into the foster system, and now he suddenly wasn’t.

Rosa stands up, walking over to him and cupping his chin for just a moment.

“We’ll be with you.” Billy nods silently, not finding his voice, or the will to speak. He just silently turns around, walking back into the room. His mother immediately looks at him, glancing at the two strangers, at least to her, that were walking besides him.

“You must be Marilyn.” Rosa says with a soft and kind voice, smiling gently. Her hand stays on Billy’s shoulder, a constant weight that grounded him. “I’m Rosa, and this is my husband Victor.” She greets her, and Marilyn nods.

“It’s nice to finally… meet you.” She glances at both of them for a moment.

“I hope it’s okay that we’re raising your son.” Victor says, but Marilyn shakes her head.

“I don’t deserve to… call him my son.” She takes another breath. “Do you love him?” She asks, and Victor frowns slightly, looking at Billy.

“Of course we do, he’s as much our child as our other kids.” Victor puts a hand on his free shoulder, but he glances at Marilyn. The younger woman nods with a smile.

“That’s good… he deserves someone like you.. you can give him that.” Marilyn says, she reaches out with a shaky hand, and this time it’s directed towards Rosa, who gently grabs it. “Please… take care of my boy okay?”

“We will Marilyn, I promise. He’s safe with us, and we will take care of him.” Victor wraps his arm around Billy, pressing him a little closer.

“Mom.” Billy whispers, but his mom didn’t seem to hear him. There was a faint smile on her face, almost as if everything was okay. Like she had been nervous for something, a test, a presentation, bad news, and suddenly that was over and she could relax again, everything was going to be okay.

And then her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

“Mom!” Billy cried out, and her body seized, jerking up and down without any control. Victor immediately pulled him back and Rosa frantically pressed the red button. Alarms sounded through the hospital and it wasn’t long before the door opened, several doctors running into the room.

“Out of the way!” One of the doctors shouted. “Embolism, I need 5000 units of heparin bolus!” She continued, and one of the nurses took the pillow away, all frantic.

“Mom.” Billy chokes out, struggling against Victor’s grip. But Victor was too strong, dragging him back until he was on the other side of the small room. His eyes were burning, begging for him to look away, but he couldn’t. He could only watch helplessly as his mother continued to seize right in front of him.

“What happened?” The doctors asks, urgent but calm.

“I-I don’t know.” Rosa shakes her head. “She was fine just a few minutes ago and then she just…” Rosa couldn’t finish the sentence, but the doctor didn’t need her to. Then his mother just… stopped. The heart monitor going flat. _His mom was flatlining_.

“Paddles!” The doctor ordered.

“Charging.” There was a whirring sound. “Clear?”

“Clear.” The doctor ordered, and a shock went through his mother’s body. “Come on.” The doctor muttered, but her heart rate didn’t return. Another doctor took out a breathing device, putting it on his mom’s face and squeezing air onto her face. The first doctor started compressions, a determined look on his face.

“Come on.” _1, 2, 3, 4, 5….. 6, 7,8….._ Everything felt like a blur around him. _9, 10, 11…_ Their mouths were moving, communicated, saying things about _his_ mom, but he couldn’t hear them. He could only stare in shock… before the doctor suddenly stopped, a defeated look on her face as she glances at the screen.

“Time of death, 2:46.” A doctor called out, and Billy felt his legs give out under him. He crashed to the ground, a loud sob tearing from his throat.

“N-No.” He could barely even hear himself over the roaring of his blood pumping through his ears, the deafening noise of the heartbeat monitor going off, alarming, even if it was for nothing. Victor struggled to keep his arms around him, also sinking to the ground carefully to catch him.

He could barely register Victor’s arms wrapping around him, he could only feel the tears streaming down his face, crying for a woman who he didn’t know, crying for a woman who gave him away when he was 4, allowed him to _hope_ for her even though she actually didn’t want him.

Crying for his biological mother.

He sobbed openly, not caring about anything, not finding the ability or the energy to stop himself. He just cried loudly, unable to tear his gaze away from the bed. Victor was silent, just being _there_ for him. He didn’t say anything, didn’t try to brush off what was happening, didn’t even question why he was crying.

Rosa and him were both just there with him, Victor supporting him, and Rosa taking on the responsibility of taking care of his mother now.

It wasn’t until they were starting to unhook her from all the machines that Victor slowly moved. “You don’t have to see this bud.” Victor said softly, shifting slightly and carefully turning him around. Billy didn’t protest, and for some reason he was glad Victor turned him away from his mom.

Billy pressed his face into Victor’s shoulder, hiding himself from the rest of the room, the rest of the world. Victor just carefully rubbed his back, murmuring soft words in his ear. He couldn’t focus on _what_ he was saying, could only focus on the sounds of Victor’s voice as he continued to whisper. 

The only comfort he could find right now.

*

*

*

A soft knock caused him to look up, and he glances at Mary, who was standing at the entrance of his room.

“Can I come in?” She asks softly, and Billy nods. Mary walks into the room, closing the door behind her and sitting down on the ground on the opposite. Billy was surrounded by pictures, little items like jewellery and other stuff, everything that belonged to his mother, and whatever authorities had collected.

Billy was too tired to ask how Travis had reacted, or if he had just given up on the stuff.

“Can I?” Mary asks, gesturing to one of the photos. Billy nods, and Mary takes the invitation to pick up one of the pictures. Mary smiles softly at the picture. It was clearly Billy’s mom when she was much younger, maybe even his age, and she was sitting in the park with another girl, probably a friend.

“She looks like you.” Mary muses, showing him the picture. Billy takes it silently, glancing at the picture. “What are you doing with them?” Billy keeps his gaze focused on the picture, taking a deep breath.

“Rosa said that it would be a nice idea to collect some pictures for the funeral, make a timeline of some sorts.” Billy mutters, and Mary’s face falls slightly. It had been tense the last day, and nobody really dared to ask Billy about anything regarding his mother right now, they just tried to be there for him.

It had been just a day, and the funeral was already planned for Wednesday.

“If you want to I can help you.” Mary asks, and now Billy does look up to her, a desperate lost look on his face, and he nods.

“She wrote dates on the back of the pictures, so I’ve been sorting them by year.” Billy explains, and it was enough for Mary to understand what Billy meant. So she nodded, grabbing another photo and putting it upside down, ‘2005’ written on the back, before grabbing another one.

They spend the next 30 minutes in silence, ordering the various pictures according to year. Before they both selected the best pictures of his mother, including one, and the only one, where Billy and his mom were together. A rare photo in her later years where she seemed _truly_ happy.

*

*

*

It was a small funeral, nothing too excessive or too demanding. It was just good, peaceful. There were a few friends that his mom had, who showed up to pay their respects and to say goodbye to her. A co-worker from the store, who Marilyn had protected from the mugger, only to be stabbed herself.

His mom… for all her flaws, was a good person. And Billy was happy with that knowledge, more at ease.

The funeral was simple, no big service, no hundreds of dollars spend on flowers, catering and other stuff. They had cremated her instead of a burial, like she had wanted. Billy was glad his mom had left a will, it made everything so much easier, knowing that his mom would’ve wanted this to happen, the small funeral, the cremation. And where she wanted to be released.

She was long gone, literally and figuratively, when someone walked up to him from behind. “I remember this place now, she took me here once and we went sailing in one of those small boats.” Billy shook his head slowly. “I don’t remember much, but I recognise this place.” The person behind him but a gentle hand on his shoulder, squeezing it softly.

“Maybe that’s why she wanted to be left here.” Mary whispers softly, and Billy nods, bringing a hand up to grab Mary’s hand on his shoulder. He still wasn’t looking back at her, staring absently in the distance, the water in front of him gently moving from the wind. It wasn’t _that_ warm, but it was nice, pleasant. _Peaceful_.

His family was standing behind him, allowing him to take the time he needed to say goodbye. They had all been there to support him unconditionally, never leaving him completely but keeping their distance if he asked for it. Even Darla knew to not hug him right now, as much as Billy loved his little sister.

It would be too much right now, and Darla understood that.

He slowly stood up, feeling his knees pop at the sudden movement and he winced slightly. He had been sitting there for a long time, maybe too long. But neither of them complained, and even Mary never urged him to do something he wasn’t ready for yet. They were just there to support him with whatever he needed.

Billy glances at Mary, who had a soft smile on her face. “Thanks for staying with me.” Billy whispers, and Mary’s face shifts slightly before she nods.

“Of course Billy.” She could barely say before Billy wrapped his arms around the older girl. It was such a stark difference from the reluctant and distant boy he used to be a few months back, but Mary didn’t mind at all. It meant that he was opening up to them, trusting them enough to initiate this.

Mary stayed in the hug for as long as Billy needed, but eventually he pulled away, a light smile on his face.

“Ready to go home?” She asks, and Billy was almost shocked with the tone in her voice, even after 5 months. There was absolutely no judgement, no sense that he had to say yes for her sake. It was completely up to him. But Billy eventually nodded, he was ready to go home with his family.

Mary gave him a gentle squeeze before walking back to the rest. Billy glanced back at the water one more time, the remains of his mom long gone, disappeared in the water like she had asked him to in her will. He realised -and maybe he shouldn’t have been- that he felt at peace right now.

He glanced back, and he saw that his family was already gone, except for Rosa, who slowly walked over to him. He smiled, even if it felt wrong right now. He was at peace with what had happened, he knew he was able to give this event a place, and he had a way to cope. Yes he was sad..

Marilyn was his biological mom, the one he had looked for for 10 years, and he had lost her…

Rosa looks at him hesitantly, but Billy moved before she could, wrapping his arms around her. Rosa didn’t wait, hugging him back. And Billy smiled tearily, and he wasn’t sure if it was from sadness, or happiness.

Marilyn was his biological mom..

Rosa squeezes him softly, hugging him close.

… But she wasn’t his real mom. 

**Author's Note:**

> Uhm… I’m sorry? *hides*.
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of past rape, very vague and mostly hinted at though.


End file.
